Friend-ish: A Book Review

Age Appropriate For: 16 and up although younger teens might really benefit from this book with some input from their parents (honest discussion about inappropriate relationships and mentions of dealing with same sex attraction)

Best for Ages: 16 and up

I’ve started a quest to read a bunch of books on friendship and this was my first one. I’m wanting to learn how to be a better friend and reading books on the subject seemed like a good way to do it. This was a great book for starting my quest.

Unlike a lot of books that are about how to make and keep friends, this book is a book about defining what godly relationships are and aren’t. Needham dove into the subject with so much love and grace that I felt like I was having a really good conversation with a friend on the subject. Her tone was so loving and honest. I hope she keeps writing.

This book debunks a lot of cultural ideas about healthy friendships. While I pretty much knew everything she talked about, I really appreciated revisiting the subject and felt like I now can better explain some things to others, as well as reminded me of some important truths.

Needham not only debunked some cultural ideas of friendship, but she also showed how often we in the church have Christianized those ideas and used them. She did a wonderful job of bringing all the lies and half-truths into the light of Scripture and what God has called us to.

One of the things that Needham addressed briefly, but very well was same-sex attraction and when you may have crossed boundaries in your friendship of a sexual nature. Sure, I would like it if these sections weren’t needed, but all of us have struggles. While she spent most of the book talking about how most of us are looking to friends to be only what God is supposed to be in our lives, she didn’t ignore that these struggles are real, present, and can be addressed. She handled it with gentleness and grace that I love.

I came away from this book wanting to spend a lot of time on my knees before Jesus, making sure that my heart was right before Him and that I wasn’t depending on the people around me for things only He can provide. I know I will be rereading this book, to help keep my heart grounded in the truth of what is godly friendship and what is just friend-ish.

I highly recommend this to every Christian woman who wants to have healthy, godly friendships.