Last week, it was a struggle to complete my goals, and I didn't make all of them, but I did finish what I considered to be the most important one: I finished Courage and Corruption. It was awesome to see how the story changed as I went.

Well, here are this week's goals!

   

As I said in my look back at 2015, it was a mixed year for me. While I got to do a lot of amazing things, I also had to deal with some very hard things as well. Many of the things I have gone through, I have wanted to share, but many of them were matters I felt I couldn't on my public blog. The events have left me feeling very emotionally weak, so I decided to take a step back from a lot of things I do.

If you have read my blog for any amount of time, you probably have found out that writing means a lot more to me than just the stories. When I write, I spill a lot of my emotions into the words. The stories often are my way of coping and processing what is going on around me. When I am feeling most overwhelmed by life, it usually is because I haven't had the time to write.

So, to deal with a lot of the emotions that have been building inside the last part of 2015, I have taken the month of January and am throwing myself into writing. I am trying to write about 5,000 words a day and also spend a lot of extra time at the feet of Jesus. Even though I have only been at this about a week, I am already feeling better.

I am very grateful that my life is such right now that I could take this time to really step back from a lot of things and focus on what helps me to heal. I am sure, with the help of God, I will come out at the other end of this stronger and better because of this.

How do you recover from emotionally hard times?

This January I am doing sort of a writing retreat. I am
spending most of my days pounding away at my keyboard. I needed this, and have for a long time, and I am finally letting myself do it. Writing is cleansing for me. When things wound me, I often let them sit and fester. Talking about it is like lancing the wound, and writing is the healing balm. This month is my month of healing balm.

There are moments when I am suddenly struck with deep insight, and it catches me by surprise. There was a moment like this as I sat across for my dear friend Kelsey, talking about some of the things that had been on my heart.

"It has been so hard," I told her. "I want to blog about these things, but I can't. If I shared on my blog, because they involve other people, feelings would be hurt or it just isn't mine to share in the first place."

"Why is it important for you to share on your blog?" she asked.

"Because it is how I cope with things, process what is happening, and see good come from it when people says it encourages them."

I didn't even think about my answer, it just spilled out, but in that moment, I gained insight into myself. I hadn't even realized that I had done it, but that is often what my most heartfelt blog posts are; me processing and dealing with something that is burdening my heart. In 2015, many of the things that were burdening my heart I couldn't share with the world. It isn't that they are so dark that I am afraid to share, but more often than not they were things that were not mine to talk about. Even though I am a pretty open person, there are some things that don't go past close family and friends.

It is probably the second biggest factor in why their were so few blog posts last year, the first being the fact that I didn't make blogging a priority, 2016 is going to be different. I can't promise I can share everything that is on my heart, but blogging is a much higher priority to me. I have missed sharing my life with my readers.

Have you ever had a moment of insight that surprised you?

2015 has been a very full year with many wonderful blessings.