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Age Appropriate For: 13 and up (for brief mention of hard things in author’s past)
Best for Ages: 18 and up
Description: How Listening Well Builds Stronger Communication and Deeper Connections 
No relationship is perfect--but it can be better. The secret to stronger relationships isn't to become more charming or funny or to solve the world's problems or to just try harder. All you have to do is listen. It's that simple.
Yet our noisy culture hasn't equipped us to do this. With warmth and a touch of humor, personal coach and expert communicator Becky Harling shares simple, practical listening tools that will help you become a person others are drawn to and want to spend time with, as well as how to: 
- be fully present
- offer understanding instead of advice
- ask great questions
- create a sense of safety and trust
- manage your body language
- and more!
When you learn to listen well, your marriage will grow stronger, your parenting will flourish, your friendships will thrive, and your influence at work will increase. You will be amazed at how one simple act can transform the hearts of others--as well as your own.

I love to talk, but the Bible clearly says that we are to be quick to listen and slow to speak. As I have trouble doing this, I was excited to read this book. It didn’t disappoint me. I found myself being convicted, encouraged, and given practical steps to become a better listener.

This is a small book, but it took me a while to go through it. Why? Because it was jammed packed with a lot of good material. I read a chapter and then did all the activities / answered all the questions. There were a few days I knew I wouldn’t have time, so I waited until I did. If you go through this book, I highly recommend doing all the stuff at the end of the chapter to really get the full impact.

The style in which this book is written is very engaging. I have loved books by Becky Harling since I read 30 Days of Praise. She is honest, funny at times, and kind. She doesn’t have a problem with telling it like it is, yet does it in a kind and gentle manner.

The only issue I had was that I felt that, in her chapter about giving advice, she made it sound as if it is never okay to confront people. While not the main point of the chapter, I think it is very clear from the scripture that there is a time and a place for Christians to confront fellow believers about their sin. Some people might also might want to know that she briefly mentions that she was sexually abused as a child.

I have a list that I am starting of books I wish every Christian would read. This has made that list (Connecting by Larry Crabb is also on the list). I think it is a powerful book on a topic that is much easier ignored. If that doesn’t tell you enough about how much I like it, know that this book WILL be on my top ten books for this year.

I highly recommend this book for every Christian, those that want to deepen their friendships, and anyone who wants to become a better listener.

It happens about this time every year: I look over the projects I am working on and have to figure out how best to use my time for the reminder of the year. What books do I want to release in time for Christmas and what projects do I need to set aside to make that happen. As I take off the month of December, I also want everything to be in a good place to be set aside for a time. A couple weeks ago, I did that planning.


I feel like, for the first time in a few years, I have a really good chance of meeting my goals. This year has been full of bumps, both in my writing and personally, but I feel like, through it, I have found my writing rhythm. I have found how much work I can plan so that I am challenged, but not overwhelmed if I end up needing to take a day off. Finding this will make me a better writer I think.
So, what are my plans for the next few months? I won’t bore you with all of it, but I will show you my publishing schedule. Lord willing, I will be able to keep to it.

October ~ The next Tales of Taelis short story.
November ~ There was Always Laughter in Our House
December ~ A Christmas short story/  Kate’s Case Files #3

Which one are you looking forward to the most?

I got on my Facebook page. I enjoyed seeing pictures of my friend Kathrine and the kids she nannies.  I loved Alicia and Grace’s posts about how awesome their husbands were. I appreciated Josh’s honesty about the rough time he and his wife have been going through due to poor health. Amanda’s verse art was lovely and inspiring. Oh, and should I mention all the back-to-homeschool pictures that are coming across my page? Love it!

Yet, the majority of my page was taken up with very different aspects. There that person went, posting yet another post bashing yet another Christian book. Yet another update from that author group, talking about how Amazon is ripping off authors. Still another post about the horror of abortion. And still another post about the toxic products that you use daily in your house.

Are these people right? Most of them are, but to me, I am seeing an alarming trend among well intentioned, Christian Facebook users. They want to use their Facebook page for good, to share what they are passionate about and warn people. However, I wonder if they see what their Facebook page looks like as a whole. Most of the titles could be changed to say: “I was angry when I heard about this, and you should be too!’ and it would capture the essence of what the article is made to do.

Yes, there are times for righteous anger. No, I’m not one of those people who thinks you should never share and article on your page. However, I wonder how our feeds would look if for one day, everyone couldn’t share articles or anything on the news that made them mad. What would happen if for one week, you could only post your own thoughts, and no one else’s. I for one would love Facebook so much more. Right now, Facebook makes me sad at the number of Christians who are missing the point.

What if instead of posting an article about why you shouldn’t read this bad book, why don’t we talk about a book that God has used to minister to us? What if we stopped talking about how horrible such-and-such company is and put that same effort into promoting a good one or offering an encouraging word? Why don't instead of crying against abortion again, we raise awareness of the local crisis pregnancy centers and find ways to help those on the front lines of this battle?

Imagine the impact that if for one day, not a single Christian argued or complained, but simply built up what was good, didn’t give what was evil even the distinction of a mention, and didn’t complain.

Okay, now I am convicted. Yeah, I complain on Facebook every few days. I get a lot of sympathy that way. And isn’t that what we want? Attention. Headlines that make people mad, make them stop and pay attention…and they discourage them, tear them down, and often end up making them think about everything in a negative light. No longer! I refuse to be a part of this problem if I can help it. I am going to change and see what I can do to encourage others to do the same. Will you join me?