The Destiny of One: birthday

2026

36 years of life, 18 years of blogging, and so many blessings

8:40 AM

Last year, my birthday looked different. My husband didn't go to work at all. We spent the whole day together and had amazing food for each meal. Today, he had to go into work for a bit. Last year, I felt the tiny life within me move for the first time (at least the first time I was sure it was her). This morning, I'm trying to get my daughter to focus on eating her breakfast. Last year, I got to sleep in. This year, Hannah woke up happy at six, ready to start her day.

Some years, the changes between birthdays are huge. Some years, I could barely tell anything had changed. This year, so much has changed as I have entered motherhood. I'm finding it hard to fit in writing time at all. I'm finding that even though I've cut out a lot of sugar and have changed my diet some, my body is just holding on to the weight I gained during the pregnancy as fiercely as I hold onto the people I love. I've found motherhood so much better than I thought it would be (and I have wanted to be a mom since I was a kid). I am amazed at some of the ways I've grown, and I miss some things about my eighteen-year-old self.

My life looks very different than what I thought it would when I was 18.

I thought I would get married in my 20s, but my early 30s
I thought I would have at least five or six kids by now (I have one)
I thought I would have a good marriage. I have a marriage that is so amazing, if I wrote it into a fiction book, mothers would be telling me I'm giving girls unrealistic expectations.
I thought I would be struggling with the energy to do basics like I was at 18. Instead, while I don't have nearly the energy of some people, I function quite well.
I thought I would be as opinionated as I was for the first 18 years of my life. God has humbled me and has shaped me into a much more grace-filled person (with a long way to go).
I thought I would find a perfect church. I learned there is no such thing because imperfect people are allowed; however, I did find an amazing church with the community I've craved for years.
I thought I would have a lot more books published. I'm so excited for the books I've had the privilege of publishing, and I'm excited to be almost done with the Kate's Case Files series.

I don't know if I will be blogging for another 18 years, or at some point stop. I don't know a lot of things. But one thing I do know: I am very grateful for the life God has given me to live.

2020

Today I turn 30

10:00 PM

2018

Birthday Party!

7:33 AM

10 years! I've been writing on this blog for ten years. I started this in 2008 on my birthday. I was a new 18-year-old who was lonely but had big ideas. This blog celebrated with me when I published my first book and when I finished my trilogy. I shared about my struggle with depression, and how God showed me that my darkest moment could also be my finest hour. I could go on about all the things I've been through with this blog but...I've got a party to get to today.

I'm so blessed by the ten years I've had here, and I look forward to the next ten years...with a couple of changes. Yes, I've been stressed out lately about the lack of posts. It's one of the many things that I've been stressed about in my life. In fact, I had a meltdown Sunday afternoon. Mom hugged me, talked to me, and said some things would need to change. One of them, I decided, will be this blog.

Before you panic (thank you, one person, who panicked), I do plan to keep blogging. However, I plan to do more video posts once a week instead of even trying for daily posts. Sometimes, I act like I have the same workload I did when I was eighteen when my life has become much more active. Here are a some of the other changes I'll be making.

Taking it easy for the month of July
Refocusing on Jesus and his priorities, not my own accomplishments (or lack of them).
Spending more time interacting with people. My computer is nice but...not that nice.
Cutting out projects and tasks that are getting in the way of highest callings and goals

As this, my twenty-eighth birthday approached, I have to admit it was hard to face. It is normal around the thirty-year mark to really examine your life and wonder what you have done and what you have left to do. My problem? I got caught in looking for the normal markers of success that the world tells us to look for. I'm not a huge, money-making author. I'm not married. I don't have my 2.3 children (can I make that my 6.3?). On the surface, I haven't achieved much in my life.

The real picture? I've impacted people's lives with my stories - my main goal from the very beginning. I've successfully held to my principles in relation to guys when the world has bombarded me with messages and ideas on how to snag myself what my flesh desires. I don't have any children. Not the two that the worlds says I should have, not the six or so that I desire someday. Yet, I've had the freedom to love on some kids that God has brought into my life. I might not have been able to do that if I had my own. God has helped me to become the sister and daughter that I wanted to be, and so much more.