This month has been... a normal challenge. Right now, I see all the ups and downs, but I know in a few years, if you ask me what I did in February of this year, I may or may not be able to tell you. It has had it's ups and it's downs. I'd like to share some of it with you.

My dear friend Kelsey drove all the way down to see me!

We have been friends for years. We used to meet once a month for lunch and to talk. Now we are married and live too far apart to make this happen. Yet, I have been so blessed for the effort she has made to see me when we can. We still read a classic each month together and are making some bookish plots for the future. All I will say on the subject for now is there are some older authors we want to bring to the attention of others.

 

Another view of all my shelves

Would you be interested in a series that was about everything that was on my shelves?

 

So, you're in a relationship, or perhaps you just want to be in one. Either way, there's obviously a lot of advice out there for couples. I had random strangers and ladies whom I hadn't had more than exchanged names with giving me advice when Scott and I were courting/dating. But how can you know if you're in a healthy, godly relationship? Obviously, there aren't any easy answers as some things differ from couple to couple. However, here is my test for what it is worth:

Are both passionate about Jesus? By passionate, I mean it is of first importance to both of you. Ladies, it's especially easy to think that we, as women, will be able to excite our guy's faith. Bad news, that almost is never the case when a guy has little to no passion for Jesus in the first place. Both parties in the relationship should be passionate about Jesus and living a life for Him. If your relationship doesn't pass this test, all the others don't really matter.

Does this person bring out the best in you? Friends, this is the person you are signing up for life with. You want someone who pushes you closer to Jesus, brings out your joy, and makes you a better person towards other people. You want someone who will build you up, not tear you down. You want to be better, godlier people because of each other. I know it is hard, but ask supportive friends/family members (make sure you ask more than one) if you are a couple that brings out the best in each other.

Are humility and gentleness present in your relationship? I've talked before about how important humility and gentleness are in relationships. These are qualities that are so key. Unhealthy relationships, when confronted with obstacles or objections, respond with harsh, prideful responses. Whereas, in a healthy one, humility and gentleness are present. Of course, even in a healthy relationship, we still struggle to do what is right and respond well when someone says something unkind or wrong. Yet, if you are unwilling to listen to advice/concerns from trusted sources (not just anyone) or are feeling irritated and snapping, it is a red flag. However, if you are under fire (because sometimes even those we love don't have a godly perspective) and you can humbly yet boldly give a gentle answer, that is a good sign.

Do we have the same goals both short-term and long-term? What do you want to result from your relationship? What are your life-long plans? If one of you wants to just have a good time during the dating stage and the other wants to have only serious conversations, obviously, your short-term goals are at odds. If one of you wants to be a missionary to India and one of you wants to own a coffee shop in a small town in America, you have incompatible long-term goals. While you can compromise in some areas, tred with care and prayer. If you don't resolve those things now, they will become battlegrounds in the future.

Do those who love and know you best think this is a good idea? I have known friends who have married over the objections of their parents and counselors because those people had unbiblical or ludicrous objections. It is a sad fact that sometimes those who we have been close to will object without good reason. However, ask those who know and love you best if they think this relationship is good and if it passes the other tests I've mentioned. I cannot say this clearly enough: If the people who love and know you best don't get along with the person you are in a relationship or think it is a bad idea, it is a giant red flag. Of course, there can be bad advisors, but don't ignore this red flag. Seek counsel from good, biblically grounded sources.

Did your relationship pass the test? Congratulations. It sounds like you're off to a good start

Did your relationship not measure up? Spend some time in prayer and with wise counselors. If needed be willing to trust God enough to walk away. It is better not to be in a relationship then to end up in a bad marriage.

 Most of you have, no doubt, read my blog post when I hit a wall with social media. While life has thrown me a few curve balls that have slowed my processes, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to spend time on. Blogging was one thing I wanted to do more, but I've also been trying to figure out exactly what that looks like.

The other day, I was thinking back to the time I loved most in my blogging days. What was I reading? Who was I following? What made blogging so appealing? The answer quickly made me realize while, of course, there are different answers, the common denominator was a lot more personal updates. I miss having a couple dozen blogs where I kept up with the lives of my friends. Of course, we were in our teens during that time, and things will look different now. 

However, I'm getting excited about online interactions again. I'm actively looking for ways to use the social media accounts I have to engage instead of scroll. With this blog, I'm planning on sharing more about my daily life.

But I need your help.

I don't want to just share but get back into the blogging community. So, if you have a blog, or know of a blog you think I would enjoy, let me know about it. Also, drop me a comment and let me know what is something you want to know about me, my life, etc.

My youngest sister comes over almost every week. Honestly, we watch Star Trek together most of the time. However, we went on a hike together to Palmetto State Park. While this was my fifth visit to this park, it was the first time I had been that one of the trails had been open. It made me ridiculously happy to explore the new area and to spend time with two of my favorite people.



We have had a lot of cold evenings, and Scott has been reading almost every evening out of a book. We just finished a childhood favorite It's a Jungle Out There about a missionary kid. Now, we are reading a beautiful historical fiction book Lapis Lazuli for Hope. I'm enjoying spending our evenings reading aloud. It reminds me of my very happy childhood.