In 2024, I read two books that became unlikely favorites. One was a historically inaccurate novel, and the other was violent—far more violent than I usually like my fiction to be. Yet both made their way deep into my heart. Why? because they had heroes—idealized and romanticized heroes who were larger than life.

The Scottish Chiefs and Break the Beast are two books that seem to have little in common at first glance. The Scottish Chiefs is a historical fiction on the life of William Wallace. Break the Beast is a fantasy retelling of the epic poem Beowulf. The Scottish Chiefs has a vintage feel (it was published in 1809), taking its time to tell a romantic version of William Wallace. Break the Beast is a fast-paced, modern book with grit and violence. Both books featured an idealized main character who made me crave more hero books.

Heroes are not a popular idea right now. Current book trends favor the morally grey characters - the characters who can be horrible, but you find they have redeeming qualities. 

The drunken superhero. 

The super handsome boss who adores the girl, but is possessive, obsessive, and rude.

The good girl who falls for the bad boy and realizes being good is boring.

The person willing to sacrifice everything and everyone to achieve a goal.

The fallen good girl, struggling to find redemption.

The man who ignores rules and laws to achieve a 'greater good'.

While we need stories that show redemption and the triumph of the flawed characters doing their best, we also need more. We need the characters that are so good that they inspire us to do better. We need the good boys and girls who stay good through the whole story and win victories because of it. We need stories that tell us that we could be so much more than what we are settling for.

In The Scottish Chiefs, William Wallace is a man whose life is upended by tragedy, and is forced to fight a war he didn't want. Yet, he does so with character, purpose, and integrity. His noble character is in stark contrast to those he is fighting. No, this is not the book to go to to get the historical facts. However, it is a good book to read to see the beauty of a morally shining character against the black backdrop of corruption.

In Break the Beast, Beowulf is a powerful warrior who can do just about anything on his own. He charges through the story defeating enemies, and offering bold compassion and redemption without compromising his quest to right wrongs. He knows what others need and pours himself out for others through the whole story, keeping his end goal in mind. A morally bright character against the black backdrop of evil.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. Philippians 2:14-16 NIV, emphasis added.

 Idealized heroes remind me of the above verse. They shine like stars against a dark sky. They challenge me to think beyond what I am to what I could be. Ultimately, they point me to The Hero, Jesus, who is my ultimate hero and role model.

Do we need realistic, flawed characters in our fiction? Yes! Do we need redemption stories? Absolutely! However, I argue that we also need morally shining characters. We need the unabashedly good heroic character that seems a little too good to be true. We need characters like Beowulf and Wallace. We need characters like the Old Testament Joseph, Daniel, and Ruth; men and women who stand out from the darkness as shining lights of heroic morality and courageous goodness.

We need heroes. 

 

 

It was right here a moment ago. My enthusiasm for starting the new year and diving back into blogging was here, but then suddenly it was gone. Where did it go? I had such passion – so many good ideas. I didn't understand where they went...

...until I stopped to think about it.

I got online and I saw what was being shared by authors and friends that had likes and comments:

• Praising a girl’s article about all the things her parents taught her that were wrong.
• Warnings about a damaging teaching.
• A short video mocking people who don’t like to read.
• A funny video with a fake argument defending a genre.
• A list of things people shouldn’t say to someone going through a certain struggle.

All of these things have some value. None of them are wrong in of themselves. But do you notice what I do? It’s all coming from a defensive and negative point. Yet, I get it. If you share something from a positive and happy point of view, you don’t get as much of a response. This is even true with book reviews. I rarely get a comment on a book I give five stars to, but usually get a few when I post a negative review.

So why did realizing this trend discourage me to the point I wasn’t blogging? I know that not participating in some trends sometimes means fewer people see my work. Like it or not, what is trending does affect what people are looking for. I looked at what I wanted to do and was good at doing and I see there isn’t as much of a market for it even from when I started.

• I’m not good at making videos. I’ve tried.
• I feel there is far too much tearing down out there. We need to spend a lot more time encouraging and building up.
• I’m not a trend setter or even the best at what I do.

When realized what had been holding me back from blogging, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders and I had so many ideas for blog posts and fun. So there is more coming to this more. And once again, I’m reminded that I have a lot of learning to do. I’m grateful that God is such a patient teacher.

 

Did you enjoy this post? It reminded me of this one I wrote in 2017.

 

It's late, and I really should be asleep. However, instead, my mind is racing with thoughts, hopes, dreams, and, yes, a few fears.

As I write this, it is the first day of the new year. The day started too early for someone who had been up at midnight. It had a short workday, a lunch with my dear sister Rose and then an afternoon with friends, chores, and celebrating the New Year. At the end of the day, my dear friend Jessica asked me about my word for the year.

I wasn't sure I would even have a word for this year. I don't have one most years. As Jessica told me about her word, and I thought about some of the things on my heart, I remembered a scene from a story, a scene where hope, courage, and a mountain of fear all mixed together for one of the most dramatic and powerful speeches in the Old Testament.

Three men, who refused to follow the crowd, stand before an angry king who is angry and has the power to take their lives (or so he thinks). The king gives them another chance to save their lives. They respond like this:

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

Let's break this down a little:

Fear: Anger of a king and a horrible death

Hope: They serve a God able to save

Courage: "Even if he does not..." whether God saves them or not, they are willing to take that stand.

Of course, we know that God saves these men from the furnace. We don't really feel the fear because we know the ending. Like all those stories where we want the guy and girl to tell each other they love each other and get it over with, or watching a game that we already know the final score. Sometimes, knowing a story takes the fear out of the story.

When it was going on, those three men didn't know that God would save them, they only knew he could.

In real life, someone might confess their feelings and not have them returned, unlike most romance novels.

Before the game was played, it could have gone to either team.

Uncertainty and fear go hand in hand. Courage is that stepping out anyway and saying things like:

"God can save, but even if not, I will serve him."

"I'm going to share my heart, knowing it could cause either great pain or great happiness."

"I'm going to play my best, knowing the outcome is uncertain."

Those three men were about to have courage because their hope was built on a solid foundation. That is my goal for this year, to have courage. And to know that I can be courageous because my hope is built on the unshakable foundation which has already been laid. That is Christ. 

I don't know what that courage is going to look like, but I guess that's the point, isn't it?

Do you have a word for the year? Thoughts on this story from Daniel? Need a prayer for courage? Comment below. I would love to hear from you. 

Today, I turned 30.

This month has been an emotional roller-coaster, most of it of my own making. There were days that I was excited that I had made it 30 years, and there were a lot of days I felt like curling in a ball and crying. There was something about the big three-zero birthday that had me. I never thought I would get to this age without a family of my own. At the same time, I saw so many things that God needed to change in me, I kinda wondered how I had any friends and why my family put up with me.

I took a week off for my birthday and spent a lot of time thinking, praying, as well as chilling and having fun. In this week off, God has brought me not only to a place of great peace but to a point that today was a day of great rejoicing for me.

We all have expectations in life. I’m no different. Now, I wasn’t one of those who had a life plan, but I did have ideas. As is often the case, God had plans for me that were very different than my ideas. While those plans are for my good, they don’t necessarily feel good. However, we all know there are many things that feel good that aren’t good for us. We can’t live on sugar and other junk food. Exercises don’t feel good a lot of the time, but they achieve a result that is good.

There is so much that God has been teaching me, it can’t all fit into this post. However, I will say that I’m so grateful for the thirty years that God has given me. As I look ahead, I have no idea what He has in store for me. I do know that I can hold on to hope because it will be for my good and for his glory.

Here is a song I’ve been listening to a lot this past week.

I want to start this whole thing by saying that the following opinions are unpopular and I am well aware of that. I will accept comments with honest questions or biblical concerns, but I will not publish or read comments shared out of anger or simply for the purpose of argument.


I've seen a lot of my dear Christian friends express concerns about how this unique time in history is causing the government to take away our liberties at a quick rate. They express concern and even outrage that their fellow Christians are not doing more, saying more, against what is going on around them.

Bothers and sisters in Christ, if we are worried about what the government is doing during this time, our focus is in the wrong place. Don't get me wrong. Please vote and do vote according to your conscious. Yet, during this crisis, if Christians are using their effort to fight the political evils, they are fighting the wrong battle.

Right now, we have an amazing opportunity to reach those in our community with the gospel, to be the hands and feet of Jesus. If we are spending more mental and physical energy on the liberties that the government is taking away, then we are reaching out to those around them and asking what God would have us do, that's a problem.

The bible does not call us to fight for political change, it does not call us to stand up for or rights as citizens of whatever nation that we happen to live in. It calls us to live holy and blameless lives. It called us to live radical lives for Christ and to share the hope within us to the doing world around us.

America will someday be dust. In the grand scream of entirety, what the government is doing is really not the concern of the church. When we get to heaven, our voting record, and political stands will not gain our reward. I doubt there will be one person in heaven because they were won over by our political opinions during the coronavirus. Yet, the church has an opportunity to share our hope with our neighbors like never before.

We can help feed those who are hungry, to get groceries for that mean old lady a few doors down and show her the love and compassion of Christ. I personally know Christians who are helping to fill the huge need for grocery delivery, when many volunteers are running home. I know Christian medical workers rushing toward the epicenters to help in the name of Jesus. We can share hope with those who are feeling hopeless. We can go to go to God for peace, in a culture that is thriving on fear and anger.


Brothers and sisters, let us live quiet lives that respect those in authority, as the Bible commands and use this time to spread the gospel of Jesus, not our political agenda.





A few years ago I wrote a four-part series about my biblical understanding of how we are supposed to treat those with authority over us. You can read about David and Saul, What Romans says, Peter's Stand Against Authority, and Our Response.

Hey I just wanted to pop over real quick and share the sermon that meant so much to me.

A writer was not my first career choice. Wife and mom was my first and still a dear dream, but in my early teens, I decided to I wanted to be a nurse. I liked to write, but it wasn't until my late teens, and with a lot of tears, I realized that I would never be able to handle a nursing job, much less college. It was then that writing became my focus.

Here we are, ten years later and I'm healthier than I was then, probably healthier than I've been in my whole life. Yet. I'm still not a very strong person physically. A have a lot of pollen allergies, and I don't have the same amount of energy that my siblings do.

Why am I going on about this? Well, because when I'm physically at a low, often that causes me also to struggle emotionally. Physical and emotional wellness are often more tied together than we think. Girls especially understand the swells of emotion that rise even from normal ups and downs. Recently, ragweed has caused me to be at a physical low, and discouragement has seeped in.

I've especially felt discouraged in my writing. I feel like I'm putting in a lot of effort with not a lot to show for it. Yesterday, I woke up crunching numbers in my head. I spent my time working fending off a headache. I came home and sat down to write and questioned why I was even doing it. Why did I bother to write when I didn't feel like it? Maybe it was time I treated my writing more like a hobby and less like a job.

Even as the thoughts were swirling in my head, I knew that they weren't healthy thoughts. It was my tiredness, my discouragement taking at best, the enemy whispering his lies at worst. I stopped, prayed, and then turned up the music as I started typing away at a book. A song came up fairly soon and I had to stop and let it wash over me.

Find it on: Goodreads | Kindle | Hardcover | Audiobook

This is not going to be one of my normal book reviews because this was not a normal book. This was a book that God brought along just when I needed it. I’m twenty-nine years old and my life is nothing like I thought it would be at this point. That isn’t to say I don’t love my life. I am so grateful for where I am and what God has allowed me to do. However, though the spirit is willing, my flesh is weak. This last week, discouragement has been pulling at me.

So many people, with the best of intentions, have questioned my choices in life. They ask questions that make me wonder if I missed something. After all, what if I am doing something to scare off the guys? What if I do need to get a real job? I’m still living at home, what happens if my parents die? You get the idea, I’ve been doubting just about everything. On top of that, this week as been pretty stressful.

I came home from work to find this book had been delivered. Having a million things that needed my attention, I sat on my bed and read the whole book. Now, I feel like crying, I probably will as I finish writing this review. The words of this book washed over me, lapped around my heart and soaked into my dry soul. I can, and do, trust God to write my story.

Many well-meaning people don’t and won’t agree with the choices that God has called me to make. The story He is writing in my life is not going to look like the American dream, it isn’t going to reflect my hopes because I have trusted Him to do something better, and that is never, ever a mistake.

This book touches on many aspects of life that we struggle to trust God with. Each chapter shares personal testimonies of God’s faithfulness. Here is my testimony (the shortened version):

I’ve always wanted to be a wife a mom. I’ve also felt God’s call to write. I published my first book when I was twenty-one and God has used my books to impact lives. In the last few years, I’ve gone through some very serious bouts of discouragement. Being in your late twenties and never having a guy shown any interest has taken its toll on my perception of my value. God used some wonderful people in my life to help me refocus my vision to where it should have been: on Him and what value He places on me.

This summer, my sales have dropped to almost nothing. Now, they’ve never been amazing, but that’s been okay with me. However, while it isn’t about the money, an author does like to make some right? I’m still struggling to trust that no matter what the numbers say, I’m to follow Christ’s call. This reminds me I can trust Him no matter what.

The biggest struggle I face has been a life long one. I’ve struggled with fatigue since my childhood. In my teens, it was debilitating. It slowly, and for no apparent reason, started getting better in my twenties. Yet, I still battle all the time with having the energy to accomplish what needs to get done. I don’t have answers for why I don’t think I ever will.

However, this book reminded me that I can trust God to use that part of the story for good. He wrote that plot twist into my life before the creation of the world. He knew exactly where it would take me and where it will continue to
take me.

My dear friend, if you are struggling to trust God with your story, you are not alone. I highly recommend this book to you. I pray it will bless your heart as it did mine.

I received this book from Moody Publishers for the purpose of writing a review. I was not required to write a positive review. All the thoughts expressed are my own. 

For this month, you can donate Revive Our Hearts and get the book as a thank you. If you would like to support this ministry and get this amazing book, click HERE

Social media didn't blow up earlier this year when Bill Emmons died. There's a good reason for that, very few people knew him. He was a man who had been a faithful Christian since his youth and when he died, the church down the street from us was full of lives he had touched, including my family.

"Ladies and gentleman, Today marks another faithful year for Pastor Jon. He has been faithful to his wife, a good dad, and preached the word of God boldly. Wow, I see this moment has gone viral already on social media."

Yeah, this moment never happened. The three pastors that are at my church, including Pastor Jon, quietly live a life of faithful service to the church and his family. Very few social media posts include any mention of the pastors

Recently, a big name pastor that my generation adored announced he was leaving his wife and faith. I've seen so many posts about the topic and it made me said. It made me sad for the guy, but more it made me sad at all the attention we give to the big failures and how little attention we give to the faithfulness of others.

Don't get me wrong, I think when big names fail, it is an incredible opportunity for the church to shine. Also, when some big-name fails, there is a need to process it. It isn't easy when a hero lets you down. In fact, I think all of us have put someone or another on a pedestal and then watched them topple, it isn't easy. In fact, if you are struggling with that, can I recommend a song to you? It's part of a kids show, but it's powerful. Click HERE and start at 6:36.
It's easy to see the bad in the world. It seems like bad news travels fast, but people don't celebrate the good news or faithful service. A big name teacher who I loved was separated from her husband, it was big news. When God worked a miracle and her husband's heart and they were reconciled? I didn't find out for a few months because the same friends who had been sharing about her heartbreak didn't mention the joyful news.

My dear fellow Christians, this shouldn't be. Yes, there is a lot wrong in the world and even in our church. Why even the church that I love has issues (I mean, they let people like me in so...). It's easy to focus on the fact that the music is too loud, the pastor to the singles doesn't really get stuff because he was married right out of college or find out a member fell through the cracks. It's easy to see those things and not focus on some of the amazing things that are going on like the consistently good sermons, the servant hearts of those around me, or the daily acts of service that are going on in our church.

With people, it's easy to see their problems. But right at this moment, can we celebrate the quiet lives of faithfulness all around us? Bill lived a very quiet life, yet at his funeral, story after story was shared about how he encouraged and built up those around him faithfully. One of them was my younger sister. During a tough time in her life, she took a weekly bike ride down to the church where Bill always had a hug and positive words to say to her.

Bill loved the Lord and that showed up in everything he did. He was one of the first people to welcome us to the neighborhood. He lent us tools, helped us find the best places to go for things in town, and told us Holman kids how proud he was that we were walking with Jesus.

How about the pastoral team at my church? Jon, Bart, and Aaron are following God and faithfully serve the church. Not a lot of people know about them because, well, they haven't done anything bad to attract attention. I'm grateful for that. I thank God for them and pray for them to continue in faithfulness.

Comment with some of the people who you want to celebrate for their faithfulness!

I have written and rewritten this blog post. Some concepts are so big, it’s hard for even a writer to get it down to a manageable word count.

My goals for this year included me wanting to have a Joseph perspective on the events that came my way. The first six months of this year gave me a lot of opportunities to practice as I had to lay aside writing for a while to work two jobs, and dealt with some normal life issues and hurts. While I struggled a lot, I really worked hard to see the good that came out of each circumstance. I have to say that while not perfect, I can see that I have been making progress.

Then I injured my tendon.

I didn’t handle this as well as I had some of the other things. I was in pain, I couldn’t use my right arm, and I knew I was facing three to twelve weeks of not using it. I had a lot of time to sit and think. It was in one of those quiet moments that it started to happen: I started having to deal with some emotional issues that had been building within me.

My sister Rose and I are very different. I’ve often compared our friendship to that of Captain Kirk and Spock (any Star Trek fans out there?) Kirk (like my sister Rose) is a person of great feelings, an adventurer, who interacts with everyone in the room. Spock (like me) is always bringing up logic, standing in a corner, and pretending his emotions don’t exist. I too often, because I do feel things pretty deep, shove my emotions into a corner so I don’t deal with them.

The downtime forced me to deal with a lot those things that I’ve been struggling with. Most of it can be boiled down to two root things. One, I didn’t feel valuable or needed. Two, I wasn’t really trusting that God was good and would give me the best. I had been trying, I had been saying the right words, but that truth hadn’t been sinking into my heart. I found I was thinking a lot more about the hardships or the past and the dreams that were slowly dying in the present then I was about the fact I could trust God with all of it.

I had to repent of and seek to destroy the lies I had allowed to come into my mind. Many of them were spoken by people who cared about me but didn’t understand what was going on in my life or what God had called me to. They said things like:

“Maybe it’s time you get a real job.”
“It’s not to late to get a good education.”
“Have you tried online dating?”
“You don’t want to be single forever, do you?”
“Maybe you need to rethink your ideas about that.”

None of those were horrible things to say, but I allowed doubts to take hold and then the lies started to become a pattern of thinking.

Maybe I can never make this author thing work. I’m a failure at it. Look at how many books this new author is selling compared to my years of work for so few.

Maybe I did make a mistake and not go to college. What was I thinking?

There is probably something wrong in me. Something that makes me unattractive and the kind of girl no guy wants for me to still be single. 

I’m stuck and I’m not going anywhere.

I’m not doing anything of value with my life.

Because I haven’t been picked as a wife, as a big author, or the first person that friend thinks of, people must not value me.

Lies! All of these thoughts were lies! I had started repeating them to myself and others seemed to affirm them. I was at a low place in the month of June. My injury caused me to stop everything. Instead of shoving my feelings aside because it was too emotional to think about, I started to see those lies for what they were.

My value and worth are exactly what God says they are. I might not be where I thought I would be at twenty-nine. I may not even be where I would like to be. However, I have full confidence that I’m exactly where God wants me to be. I’ve been spending my life on the things that matter for eternity.
My books have touched lives and turned hearts toward Jesus, does it really matter that I’ve never had a bestseller flag next to a book?

I’m not a wife and mom, but I have a full, rich life now. If God hasn’t given me those things, its because that is what is the absolute best thing for me right now. He withholds no good thing from me. Best not to try to reach out and grab what He hasn’t given

I have amazing friends. Friends who have shown in so many little and big ways that I matter to them. I mean, anyone who has stuck with me for several years after hearing my many opinions and my bad days probably deserves a medal. I’m so grateful that I’m part of their lives and they are part of mine.

I cannot express how deep the peace in my heart is. I’m grateful for my tendon injury because I had to confront the lies that were keeping me from trusting and resting in Jesus.

There has been a change in my heart for the better. I pray you too find peace in Jesus.

My first book is about to turn eight years old. It's hard to believe. It has a lot of flaws. I learned a lot since publishing it and hope to have it edited professionally, fix a couple of issues and revamp the cover sometime soon. However, it still has a very special place in my heart. Today, I've been thinking a lot about Maria at the end of that book. I've been thinking about her thoughts on destiny from all the books. Why? That's a really good question.

I've been praying a lot lately for wisdom. It seemed like there were a lot of little decisions that I needed to make. I've felt I couldn't balance all the demands on my time. I was contemplating quitting one of my outside jobs so I would have more time to write. I was praying and this morning, God answered in a way I didn't expect.

Our fridge broke.

I know, earth-shattering, right? Well, this is on top of a lot of other expenses that our family is facing. I found out that one of my jobs will allow me to work some extra hours and suddenly, everything became very clear: For this season, I need to take the extra hours and set aside my writing. No, I'm not giving it up. I'll still work on it some. However, for now, it's going to take a back seat.

This wasn't the answer I wanted. However, this is my answer and that peace that surpasses all understanding has filled my heart. I don't understand where this turn in destiny is taking me, but I know that God does. He knows the destiny He has for me.

With that said, I probably won't be blogging much or sending out weekly author newsletters, for this time and season.

While I won't be online as much. I'll be around. I'm so grateful for every hour God has provided for me to write and I know He will continue to provide a time where I can. I know that this is only the beginning of my continuing destiny.

This is something I wrote a while back and I'm sharing it in honor of all my single friends during this Valentine's season.

Strong is a title I’ve been given a lot over the years. In fact, some people assumed I didn’t care about some of the things that happened to me because I presented what, to them, seemed like a strong exterior. Right now, I’m not feeling very strong.

I had a rough week. Maybe you did too. I’m in another wedding, watching happy couples all around, and many of my friends have little ones. When did that happen? What happened to all my single friends? Oh, right, they got married. I know,  a few of us still remain single but our numbers are dwindling and we feel more alone with each passing year.

I feel more alone.

It’s been a year since I wrote a post about how this struggle with singleness hit me hard. Far from getting easier, the battle seems to be growing stronger. I mean, really, hormones rage sometimes. I look at all the people who’ve decided as they’ve gotten older that they can’t wait for Mr. Right anymore and the settle for Mr. Okay or Mr. Not-So-Great. Or they toss their faith and morals and get satisfaction in temporary ways. It may be easy to judge them but most of us who are very honest with ourselves can understand a little. I battle my own mind and where it wants to go. I struggle with my own emotions, urges, and desires.

I for one know I’m not strong enough to keep fighting this battle. I get war-weary. I get tired of the battle in myself. I get tired of fighting to protect how it wants to affect my relationship with others. I just want to surrender. Why? Because I’m not strong enough.

I’m not strong enough, but God is.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 NIV

It seems to me, Paul was much in the same boat. He was dealing with something that was too big for him to handle. He was pleading, begging, God to take it away. He didn’t get the answer he wanted, but he was given an amazing promise, one we can hold on to. God’s grace, not our own strength, is sufficient. Even bigger? God’s power is made perfect in our weakness.

In a world that pretty much doesn’t know how to handle anyone who isn’t in a relationship and is choosing to *gasp* wait on God’s timing, I stand out. I’m here, like Paul, to say I’m weak. I’m not strong enough to deal with being single. I’m not strong enough fight all the temptations that come at me. I’m not strong enough to keep discouragement at bay. I’m not, but God is.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9