The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis: Episode #6
4:03 PM
Crystal and I had texted every day. She had asked a couple
of questions about what had happened with Jessie. When I told her I didn’t think
I should share anymore to keep from gossiping, she respected it. As it was,
I was worried I had shared too much. If Jessie returned to my life, would I
regret what I had shared?
As I looked over the bookstore, I didn’t think I would ever
regret breaking down in front of Crystal. It had been healing and had
encouraged my heart. I smiled at the homeschool group sprawled over our couches
and chairs near the tea area, many of them with beverages I had prepared, going
over Little Women. I continued to cut apart the Valentine-themed bookmarks.
I should reread that one at some point. Right now, I was
rereading The Happy Hollisters at Sea Gull Beach. It had been my
favorite as a child. I had worn out a copy. Perhaps because there was a girl
named Pam, but I also loved the treasure-hunting aspect.
Jared stepped into my field of vision, carrying a box of teas.
I reached for it but he pulled it away. “Would you please make some suitably
soothing tea for Lacie? She’s dealing with morning sickness, but won’t stop
working.” He sighed as he glanced toward the backroom. “That woman is so
stubborn.”
I smothered a smile and nodded. “I’d be happy to make her
some tea.”
Jared nodded and moved toward the tea counter and then
turned back. “Please don’t tell her I asked you to do it.”
I nodded and moved with him. I kept out of the way with his
restocking while I took a teabag with lavender and mint and dropped it into one
of the mugs. I poured steaming water over it and walked back toward the back
room.
Lacie stood amid some signage advertising our book club
program and our upcoming calendar. She looked exhausted and kept pausing and
putting a hand to her mouth. Not a good sign.
“I brought you something.” I held out the mug.
She crossed her arms and stared at the mug like I might be
giving her something lethal. “Jared told you I was falling apart, didn’t he?”
I shook my head. “No. He told me you were dealing with
morning sickness and would I please make you tea and not tell you he had
asked.”
Her irritation slid away and a laugh burst forth. “But you
just told me.”
“I thought it was the safer option.”
Lacie let out a long sigh and took the mug. She plopped down
on the floor. “He told me I shouldn’t come today and work, but I was determined.”
A tear slipped down her face. “I love this place. Just because I have another
baby on the way, I don’t to lose what I love.”
I dropped beside her. “Maybe you shouldn’t look at it as you
are losing the store, but just in a season where it is wise to accept some help
and slow down.”
And the same goes for you.
The words in my head made me swallow. One of the things on
my list was to seek out a mentor who would help me navigate things or possibly
a counselor if I didn’t feel I could share with anyone in my church. When I had
written it on the list, it had seemed so easy. But it was hard to do.
“You’re right. I should have let Jared come, do the work, and
then take me to dinner.”
I glanced around at the signs and the boxes that needed to
be sorted onto the stocking shelves. “Why don’t you have him take you to lunch
and let me do this work today. I know it will put me into overtime, but let me
do it for you this once.”
“Yes, let’s pay her and get out of here,” Jared spoke up from
the doorway. “And there is a customer at the counter who needs tea if you
can, Pam.”
I nodded and left and smiled as I caught a loving look
between Lacie and Jared. They were the best.
I swallowed back my fear and I walked up to Joan, one of the
sweetest ladies in our church. I cleared my throat.
She turned and smiled. “Pam? How are you?”
I decided that now was a good time to start with perfect
honesty. “It’s…last year was rough and has left me feeling like I’m falling
apart. I was hoping…I thought maybe…” I mentally shook myself and forced out
the words. “I would like you to mentor me and maybe see if we could sort some
things out.”
Her smile softened and she reached out a hand and touched my
shoulder. “Would you like to go to lunch today?”
“Today?” I nearly choked on the words. For some reason, I
thought she would plan for us to get together in a month or so.
Don’t miss what God might have for you here.
“I don’t have anything, but I came in the car with my
family. So…”
She waved her hand. “I’ll drop you by your house. Let me go
tell Fred he should go with the pastor’s family to the BBQ place he loves.”
I watched her walk away and prayed that I would be able to
do this.
I guess I had expected lawyer-like examinations and propping
questions and for mentoring to be…well painful. Joan made the lunch a wonderful
time. She asked me to tell me about my childhood, my family, and my job. She
was so kind and interested in me.
When I touched on some of the things I had dealt with the
year before she didn’t prob for details, but asked me how I was coping.
“I…Some times are better than others.” I told her all about
my mercies notebook and all the things I was doing each week to bring out joy
again.
She nodded and took a sip of the hot tea she had ordered
after her meal. “It sounds like you are off to a good start. Tell me, how are
you renewing your mind though? It sounds like a lot of lies and doubts were
poured into you. What are you doing to replace it with the truth?”
I hung my head. “I haven’t been doing well with my bible
reading or…anything. I have felt so overwhelmed.”
She nodded.
I mentally braced myself for the lecture.
“I know how that is. I remember going through about three
months after my youngest got her cancer diagnosis where I read my bible and it
felt like it did nothing to me. All these people talked about times of trial
being sweet times with Jesus and I was so dry.”
Well, I hadn’t prepared for this response. “Really? How did
you deal with that?”
She smiled like she had a secret. “I kept showing up. One
day, I still remember I opened the bible and I read the verse about not growing
weary of doing good for in due season you’ll reap a harvest. I cried. For the
first time in months, I felt something. For about two weeks after that, it felt
like every time I opened the Bible, something wonderful would leap off the
page.” She reached across the table and put her wrinkled hand over mine. “Be
faithful. Keep doing good.”
I swallowed back my emotion and nodded. I didn’t have words,
but I would hold on to hers.
When I reached home, I grabbed my mercies notebook and
jotted down from an overflowing heart.
Mercies this week:
God’s faithfulness,
even when I am not
Joan’s gentle and
humble words
God’s word
1 comments
Oh, this was so good! I admire Pam's courage when she approached Joan. I sympathize with her because there was time in my life where I didn't want to read the Bible either. I was emotionally drained. I think I only missed a day or two, but out of habit I picked it back up. It's true what Joan said about being faithful and good will come out of it. Having already been taught to read the Scriptures daily as a child turned out to be a blessing.
ReplyDeleteMentorship is so beautiful. I have a sweet, older friend who I consider to be like a mentor to me. Thank you for another encouraging episode, Sarah! God bless,
Valentine