January first, we all sat in the living room talking about changes. Scott was my best friend and I could tell a lot was on his mind when he said that he knew that this coming year, he was going to face a lot. 

That day, I watched my sister Rose struggle with purpose after a year of door after door getting slammed in her face. She had been passionately trying to pursue the good works God set before her yet nothing seemed to be going right.

I felt so stuck but prayed that I would know what I needed to do to change. It was so odd because I prayed and I kept feeling like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, but still felt like I was in a holding pattern. My word for the year was courage. I knew I would need it. My biggest challenge to myself was to courageously reclaim the joy.

I was grateful to throw myself into the release of Fanny's Hope Chest. It was a story I had put more of my heart into than any project for a while. It took more courage than I thought it would to send it to readers for the first time. I wasn't sure I was going to deal well with negative reviews. 

"Will you trust me with this?" It's a question that God asks us often if we are listening. Not audibly, but when we are trying to hold tight to something we love. As February rolled around, I knew God was asking me again if I would trust Him with the friendship outside the family I valued most. Not going to lie here and say I was in a place of peaceful surrender, because I wasn't. I was filling my days with projects and telling God that it would tear me to pieces to lose my friendship with Scott, but I knew He would hold me and put me back together.

February sixth, instead of the friendship ending, I found myself in a relationship with my best friend. I did tell Scott it was very, very hard to promote a book about singleness in the first glow of a new relationship. He smiled. 

Oh, and yeah, we had two SNOW stormes in Texas. If we get snow, it's kind of a weird dusting. But this year, we got four-plus inches. It was crazy!

It wasn't just me that saw changes happen for this year. I watched my sister Rose find her open door. Rose has done training with Youth with a Mission and is on track to continue serving with them and possibly joining the staff. You can follow her journey HERE.

As if being in a relationship with my best friend wasn't enough, I also got to see God answer some other long-time prayers of my family. I saw relationships be restored that I had given up on. There were so many happy tears, long hugs, and words that healed spoken. Because it's not my story, I can't share a lot, but I was overwhelmed this summer with God's good gifts.

And then I got engaged. 

Scott and I decided to get married before Rose left the country on a mission trip which locked us into a short engagement. Since neither of us wanted a fancy wedding, that was fine with us. I can honestly say that while there were a couple of stressful moments, I genuinely enjoyed planning the wedding and preparing for it.

Getting to spend the holidays married was pretty amazing since both families made such an effort to include us in their celebration. 

It's been an amazing year. I can't wait to see what God has for us next. 

It's late, and I really should be asleep. However, instead, my mind is racing with thoughts, hopes, dreams, and, yes, a few fears.

As I write this, it is the first day of the new year. The day started too early for someone who had been up at midnight. It had a short workday, a lunch with my dear sister Rose and then an afternoon with friends, chores, and celebrating the New Year. At the end of the day, my dear friend Jessica asked me about my word for the year.

I wasn't sure I would even have a word for this year. I don't have one most years. As Jessica told me about her word, and I thought about some of the things on my heart, I remembered a scene from a story, a scene where hope, courage, and a mountain of fear all mixed together for one of the most dramatic and powerful speeches in the Old Testament.

Three men, who refused to follow the crowd, stand before an angry king who is angry and has the power to take their lives (or so he thinks). The king gives them another chance to save their lives. They respond like this:

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

Let's break this down a little:

Fear: Anger of a king and a horrible death

Hope: They serve a God able to save

Courage: "Even if he does not..." whether God saves them or not, they are willing to take that stand.

Of course, we know that God saves these men from the furnace. We don't really feel the fear because we know the ending. Like all those stories where we want the guy and girl to tell each other they love each other and get it over with, or watching a game that we already know the final score. Sometimes, knowing a story takes the fear out of the story.

When it was going on, those three men didn't know that God would save them, they only knew he could.

In real life, someone might confess their feelings and not have them returned, unlike most romance novels.

Before the game was played, it could have gone to either team.

Uncertainty and fear go hand in hand. Courage is that stepping out anyway and saying things like:

"God can save, but even if not, I will serve him."

"I'm going to share my heart, knowing it could cause either great pain or great happiness."

"I'm going to play my best, knowing the outcome is uncertain."

Those three men were about to have courage because their hope was built on a solid foundation. That is my goal for this year, to have courage. And to know that I can be courageous because my hope is built on the unshakable foundation which has already been laid. That is Christ. 

I don't know what that courage is going to look like, but I guess that's the point, isn't it?

Do you have a word for the year? Thoughts on this story from Daniel? Need a prayer for courage? Comment below. I would love to hear from you.