Last year, my birthday looked different. My husband didn't go to work at all. We spent the whole day together and had amazing food for each meal. Today, he had to go into work for a bit. Last year, I felt the tiny life within me move for the first time (at least the first time I was sure it was her). This morning, I'm trying to get my daughter to focus on eating her breakfast. Last year, I got to sleep in. This year, Hannah woke up happy at six, ready to start her day.

Some years, the changes between birthdays are huge. Some years, I could barely tell anything had changed. This year, so much has changed as I have entered motherhood. I'm finding it hard to fit in writing time at all. I'm finding that even though I've cut out a lot of sugar and have changed my diet some, my body is just holding on to the weight I gained during the pregnancy as fiercely as I hold onto the people I love. I've found motherhood so much better than I thought it would be (and I have wanted to be a mom since I was a kid). I am amazed at some of the ways I've grown, and I miss some things about my eighteen-year-old self.

The Arctic chill has hit central Texas. Freezing rain is expected to make roads impassable for a while. I am sitting here, catching snatches of writing time between nursing my little girl. My sweet husband is watching our little girl off and on, so I can write. I am also just soaking in the coziness of knowing that I get to have my husband with me for almost 48 hours without anywhere we need to go.

As we start 2026, I am thinking back. I'm thinking back to 2024, when I entered the year with a tiny life inside of me, only to be told before the end of the month that our baby had died. Here I am entering 2026 with a two-month-old in my arms.

I'm thinking back to entering 2021, struggling to navigate my single status and stressed about a lot of things, and exiting the year, married to my best friend. Here I sit, watching my husband of four years, playing with our little girl.

I enter 2026 with so much to be grateful for. So many hopes and dreams from my early days have been fulfilled. I always wanted to be a wife and mom, and now I am. Yet, no life is ever perfect. Sin will mar everything in this world until Christ returns and all is made new. I told the ladies of my community group I entered this year, tired of praying for a situation and wondering if anything would ever change. 

I feel like I have so many words bottled up inside of me. Since my daughter seems to wake up the moment I set her down (or start crying), my time to spill those words out is very limited. I'm excited because my mom is planning on coming once a week to help with my little girl and give me some writing time. My first priority is to finish editing the last Kate's Case Files book. My second priority is finishing The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis. 

I am looking forward to more blogging too, though it will have to be while my little girl is being held by others, or she is sleeping.