The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis Episode #7

 

The Sarah’s Journey Series had been a favorite in my early teens. I curled up on the couch with a mug of tea and dove into Home on Stony Creek. I was preparing to enjoy my day off.

As I enjoyed the setting of the early days of the American Revolution and Sarah’s journey to the wilds of Kentucky, I sipped at my tea and enjoyed the cozy feeling.

“We are going shopping? Do you want to come with us?”

I looked up at Meg and Ivy. They were all ready to go and by the looks on their faces, I knew they expected me to say no. I opened my mouth to do just that and then I stopped myself. Wasn’t spending some quality time with my sister one of the things on my list? The three of us used to do so much together but the last year, with my job and hurts, I had pulled out.

I could hear Ben and Asa in the other room, playing a game of Risk, a favorite Saturday pastime for our brothers.

I stood. I had withdrawn and I wouldn’t keep doing that. “I would love to come with you. That is…” I looked between them. “If you want me. I know I haven’t been the best company.”

“Of course we want you!” Meg rushed to give me a hug.

Ivy didn’t look as eager but she nodded her head.

I put my book down. “I’ll be ready in a few moments.”

I rushed into my room and changed clothes, made sure to reapply deodorant, and grabbed my purse. I was about to rush out the door when I saw my list of things to do. I glanced at the page that held things I wanted to do with my siblings.

Take my sisters to that fancy ice cream place we’ve wanted to try.

I nodded. That would be the one I would do with them. It would be fun, spontaneous, and enjoyable despite the cold.

I took a deep breath and offered a prayer that I would be a blessing to my sisters.

“I can’t believe how good this is,” Meg said between bites of her vanilla ice cream loaded with candy bits.

Ivy nodded as she licked away at her blueberry cheesecake ice cream in the fresh-made waffle cone.

I smile as I scoop up another bite of cookies and cream from my dish. “It really is good.”

“We should come here more often,” Meg said. “Make it a regular girls thing.”

I smiled at my enthusiastic sister but said nothing. I enjoyed doing this for them. I loved the ice cream, but it wasn’t cheap. I didn’t think any of us would be coming here for a while.

“I just wish we could have more fun.” Meg set down her spoon. “Since Dad and Mom announced they were going into counseling, everyone has been mopping and acting like we are waiting for someone to die.”

“Can we not talk about this?” Ivy shifted in her seat and her eyes darted around.

“Why? Why can’t we ever talk about what’s going on? Is there something I don’t know?” Meg asked.

“I’m just tired of talking about sad things.” Ivy swallowed and stared at her ice cream like she suddenly didn’t want it. “Can’t we just have fun?”

Meg sighed. “Why does everything have to be about what you want. Just because you’re the youngest doesn’t make life about you.”

As the oldest, I felt I should probably say or do something, but I wasn’t sure what I should say or do. Somehow, I felt like if I had been reading my Bible like I should, I would at least have an idea of what I should say.

Tears slipped down Ivy’s face. “That’s not true. I just am tired of all the sad stuff.”

I took a deep breath, knowing I had to intervene.

“It can be hard when everything has been so heavy not to want to keep things light. Meg, maybe you and I can talk about things when we get home.”

Meg crossed her arms. “Why is everyone avoiding this.”

“Maybe because we are all afraid of what this means for our family if Mom and Dad don’t work things out.” I blurted.

Ivy set her one down on the table and covered her eyes with her hands.

Great, I had made this into a worse mess. “Ivy, I’m sorry. I…”

“Are they going to divorce?”

“Of course not.”

“I don’t think so.” My answer overlapped Meg's. I moved toward Ivy. “I’m really sorry things are so rough right now. We can try to make things happy for the rest of the day.”

Ivy huffed. “All you do is mop around and think about how you’ve been hurt. Why do you suddenly care?” She dashed off toward the bathroom.

Tears sprung to my eyes. I felt like I had been stabbed. Here I had been trying to give my sisters a good time and I had caused them more pain. Is that all I was capable of these days? Feeling pain and causing it?

No, I needed to also remember what Joan had said. I needed to combat these lies and remind myself of God’s truth. We were all hurting. It had been a hard year for all of us. I had just drifted away further because of everything with Jessie.

“I’m sorry. I just thought it might help if we talked.” Meg had her arms crossed and leaned back in her chair. She looked for all the world like a sulking toddler.

I took a deep breath. “I think you’re right, but Ivy wanted this to be a fun day.”

“She always wants things to be fun and happy! She never wants to talk about hard things. And please don’t remind me she is only seventeen. I’m tired of that line.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t going to tell you that. I was going to suggest you and I have a long talk about things and hopefully, Ivy will…

“I’m sorry.” Ivy’s choked whisper brought both of us to look at her. “I just…” her tears spilled over again. “I heard someone say Dad and Mom would probably be divorced by summer and it… I don’t want to think about it.”

I reached out a hand to her. “None of us want to think about that. I don’t think our parents even consider that a possibility okay?”

“Then why are they in counseling every week and acting mad with each other?” Ivy asked, wiping her eyes.

I pressed my lips together, trying to decide how much to say. I knew more than I wanted to know. “Dad…did some stuff in the past Mom just found out about.”

Ivy rolled her eyes. “I’m not a baby. I know about the pornography.”

I swallowed. I wished we lived in a world where neither I nor any of my siblings had to know those sorts of things existed. “I wasn’t thinking you were a baby. I just wasn’t sure everyone had been told. Anyway, they have a lot to work through.”

“Do you think they will stay married?”

Both my sisters looked at me like I was their lifeline. I took a bite of my ice cream and then nodded slowly. “I think they will. But we can’t expect them to be happy and back to normal in a few weeks. It is going to take time.”

Both of them looked like I had given them hope. I reached and took each of their hands, grateful for the connection and closeness I shared with them.

“We’ll get through this together.”

They smiled and looked at each other.

“Now, let’s eat our ice cream and then go get some stuffed animals or something else fun.

As I sat on my bed, I pulled out my Mercies notebook.

Mercies this week:

Ice cream with my sisters

The ability to cry together

My new stuffed Red Panda, Lucy

God’s gift of sisters

The Sarah's Journey Series, including Home on Stoney Creek, were some of my favorites in my early teens. Find them on Amazon and Goodreads.