Episode #12: The Weekly Mercies of Pam Ellis

My plans were made. I had already slipped my letter onto Ivy’s desk, getting it done early in the week. I had finished my work week. Now, I would bake some of those spice cookies I love and read the next book from my childhood stash: The Boxcar Children.

Or at least I thought my plans were well laid.

“Pam! You're making cookies!” Asa shouted, entering the kitchen.

Asa was as loud and boisterous as Ben was quiet and sweet. He was the sibling who could get most on my nerves. However, if I ever needed someone to be enthusiastic about something, he was the one.

“Perfect! We’re having a movie party. We'll love you and your cookies joining us.”

I stared at him. My plans did not include a movie party or my siblings decimating my cookies when I had hoped to have them for a week of evening enjoyment.

Meg entered the kitchen. “The boys convinced us to try that action movie they’ve been raving about. We should have a lot of fun.”

And there was very little they could have said the make the movie party less appealing, but that was one of them. Offer me a cheesy TV show or a period drama, and I was all in even if I had plans. But one of the boy's action movies…

Not everything is about you.

Perhaps this was an obvious truth that many of my fellow Christians have mastered, but my selfishness was insistent and pervasive. I didn’t want to interrupt my plans but my siblings wanted me. It was far more important to do some fun things that were meaningful to them than for me to lounge in my room and indulge myself.

 

“How was the movie then?” Lacie rubbed at her back, her baby bump small but visible.

I laughed. “It was… just like I suspected it would be. I didn’t love it, but the time with my siblings was worth it."

Lacie nodded, sadness clouding her eyes. “Time with siblings is something I doubt you will ever regret.”

My heart squeezed. No doubt she was thinking of her own sister who had died in a car accident while estranged from her family. I thought over the evening with my siblings. I did enjoy the time with them. I needed to do more with them. Not only had I withdrawn because of the pain of the last year, but I think I had become less likely to do things I didn’t love. I should do more things for my siblings I wasn’t excited about for myself.

“Aunt Lacie?”

We turned from the bookshelf we were restocking to see Molly holding the hand of Hosanna.

“Yes, Molly?”

“Hosanna isn’t sitting still while I’m trying to read.”

I smothered laughter.

Lacie smiled. “Well, she’s still a little young to sit still.”

Molly sighed. “I can’t wait until she is bigger.” She turned back to her book, leaving the little girl to her mother.

Lacie shook her head. “Poor Molly. She’s having a rough time of it.”

I glanced toward the retreating girl. “Oh? She seems fine.”

She chewed on her lip for a moment before settling Hosanna on her hip and continuing to put the books on the shelf. “Anna has taken to calling me Mama and Jared Daddy. Molly says she’s okay with it, but I know it’s hard. She remembers her parents, but those memories are fading. I think she’s caught between being glad we are here for her and Anna and feeling like she is losing her connection to her past.”

I looked toward the children’s corner where Molly and Anna sat reading. “Anna doesn’t remember her parents, does she?”

Lacie shook her head. “No. It doesn’t seem to bother her. What has been bothering her lately is Molly trying to make her remember. Molly will talk about the mission or something someone did and Anna isn't bothered that she can't remember.”

I put a stack of books onto the shelves. “Maybe Molly can come and spend some time with me at the bookshop? Just her and me? Maybe she needs some attention that isn’t divided between the younger children.”

“That might be just what she needs.” Lacie let Hosanna down. “I’ll see if I can arrange a day for Jared to watch Anna and Hosanna and make sure Molly has a whole day where she is with you or me. After all, she is entering a trying age.”

Hosanna grew fussy and Lacie, with a look my way, grabbed her daughter and took her off to the back where she had a playpen set up.

I continued on the new display of books. We were preparing for the Easter season. We had a selection of Easter devotionals, non-fiction, and fiction all ready to go. I looked at the display. I decided I would get a copy of Incomparable, the devotional by Nancy Wolgemuth. It seemed like a good one. I would start it while I ate the last two spice cookies I had hidden.

I finished the display and moved toward the tea counter. We needed to set out our spring teas. I smiled and dropped a bag of wildberry tea into my mug. I would of course have to try out all the new teas that we had in stock.

I looked around at the shop and just wanted to wrap up this whole moment and put it in my mercy notebook. With plans I looked forward to the next week, teas I was excited to try, and a new devotional, the feeling that wrapped around my heart felt a lot like hope. That feeling is what I would put in my Mercies notebook.

Incomparable: 50 Days with Jesus by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is a powerful devotional that I loved last year. You can get it directly from Revive Our Hearts or from Amazon